Sue Scheff: Cyberbully and Anonymous Tip Lines

A few months ago I was introduced to this fantastic website for parents of teens and tweens. I recently visited there again, and was again, amazed at the up-to-date articles including deciding on your teen’s allowance, the high costs of having your teen involved in sports, and so much more. I noticed today a educational article on the inside scoop of anonymous tip lines for cyberbullying. Read more and remember, visit this website - it is not only informational, it is bright and cheery!

Source: Tangerine Times

By Myrna Lantzsch

I’ve been working with a local group to educate and develop policy around the issue of cyber-bullying. If you’ve been a reader you’ll know that a friend of mine’s child was a victim of cyber-bullying recently. I discovered some products (this is but one) that I am going to recommend the schools take into consideration. It is computer program that provides an anonymous communication link between the students and the administration. I think we all know that kids are the best resource for knowing what’s going on inside our schools.

Here is a description of the program from their website (Disclaimer: I have not received any product information or free product from this company - I found it via research):

” Experts say in four out of five school shootings, the attackers boasted about their plans to other students beforehand. So how can school officials and law enforcement bridge the communication chasm between students and faculty? Is investing in security cameras and infrastructure improvements the right approach? AnComm believes that if we are to reduce the likelihood of violence in schools, we must put communication at the core of our school safety plan.

Administrators need to give students a way to reach out to counselors and faculty without fear of retribution or embarrassment to seek help or notify those who can help that there are problems inside your school that require attention. ‘Talk About It®’ provides an affordable, easy-to-implement option to immediately breaking the code of silence and getting students to ‘Talk About It®.’

Continue reading this post…

Sueu Scheff: Parenting, Teens and Cyberbullying

Source: TeensHealth

Bullies and mean girls have been around forever, but technology has given them a whole new platform for their actions. As adults, we're becoming more aware that the "sticks and stones" adage no longer holds true; virtual name-calling can have real-world effects on the well being of kids and teens.

It's not always easy to know how and when to step in as a parent. For starters, our kids tend to use technology differently than we do. Many spend a lot of time on social networking sites, send text messages and instant messages (IMs) by the hundreds, and are likely to roll their eyes at the mention of email — that's "so old-school" to them. Their knowledge and habits can be intimidating, but they still need us as parents.

Fortunately, our growing awareness of cyberbullying has helped us learn a lot more about how to prevent it. Here are some suggestions on what to do if online bullying has become part of your child's life.

What Is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. By definition, it occurs among young people. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time.

Sometimes cyberbullying can be clear-cut. For example, leaving overtly cruel cell phone text messages or mean notes posted to Web sites. Other acts are less obvious, such as impersonating a victim online or posting personal information or videos designed to hurt or embarrass another child.

Cyberbullying also can happen accidentally. The impersonal nature of text messages, IMs, and emails make it very hard to detect the sender's tone — one teen's joke or sense of humor could be another's devastating insult. Nevertheless, a repeated pattern of emails, text messages, and online posts is rarely accidental.

A 2006 poll from the national organization Fight Crime: Invest in Kids found that 1 in 3 teens and 1 in 6 preteens have been the victims of cyberbullying. As more and more youths have access to computers and cell phones, the incidence of cyberbullying is likely to rise.

Sue Scheff - Next Generation Parenting

Wow - I recently was introduced to this fantastic up-to-date information for parents on parenting the next generation.

From new parenting techniques, ideas, and how to be a smart parent today NexGen Parenting has it all! They also have a great selection of books and blogs to learn from.

Here is a brief example of their vast information:

Xtreme Parenting

The slacker image that Generation X earned in the early 90s is gone. No longer seen as lazy and directionless, the thirty- and forty-somethings of today are regarded as driven go-getters. Extreme and maniacally focused on everything they do from sports (X games), to work (Silicon Valley pioneers staying up all night to launch new tech products), to parenting. That’s right; GenX is turning out to be some of the most conservative, protective, proactive parents in history. They enact legislation for smaller class sizes, volunteer at school, leave their fast-paced jobs to stay home with their children, and homeschool their kids in record numbers.
In a modern twist, Gen X parents use technology to ensure the safety of their young. Baby monitors with video cameras or alarms that go off when infants stop breathing are immensely popular. Nannycams and Webcams are used to keep an eye on kids in daycare. Parents today purchase swings that play music, voice-activated bouncy seats with bubbling brook sounds, and software to teach phonics to preschoolers. While the last generation of kids begged to carry cell phones and pagers to be cool, Gen X parents insist that their children stay wired and reachable for peace of mind.

Learn more at http://www.nextgenparenting.com/.

Sue Scheff: Teen Sex in the Web and Media

Sex in the Media

Source: Connect with Kids

“Every TV show now has like at least one character who is like a slut.”

– Katie Seewald, 14 years old

Parents have heard a thousand times that sex is all over the media. But is the sheer volume of sexual images harming our children? Or is it something else?

A recent movie, “A Guy Thing,” begins with a bachelor (played by Jason Lee) hurrying a woman (Julia Stiles) out of bed after a drunken one-night stand.

The scene is typical of how casual sex is portrayed on television and in the movies.

14-year-old Katie Seewald says, “Every TV show now has like at least one character who is like a slut.”

A study by the Rand Corporation finds that teens who watch shows with heavy sexual content are twice as likely to get pregnant or get someone pregnant compared to kids who don’t watch those shows. Still, while the study demonstrates a correlation between teenage sexual behavior and television content, it does not prove a cause. Are the higher pregnancy rates the result of TV viewing, or is it simply that kids who take sexual risks and end up pregnant are more likely to watch sexual content on TV? It is not clear.

Experts say one problem with television content is that sex seldom has consequences.

“If they see sex without negative consequences…they may think that having, or engaging in sex, may not have negative consequences,” explains Dr. Gina Wingood, Associate Professor at Emory University.

Bo Brewer, 17, agrees, “You never see abortion in movies or on t-v.”

So does 17-year-old Elizabeth Green, “They want everything to be in the heat of the moment, to flow, and having to stop to go put on a condom doesn’t really flow with the storyline.”

The experts’ advice?

Limit the amount of sexual content your kids are allowed to watch and talk with your children about the sexy scenes they see on TV.

Studies show children are much less likely to be influenced by what they see if they know their parents strongly disagree.

“Teens and young people do care what their parents think. And they do care what their parents’ feelings are,” says psychologist Betsy Gard. “And if a parent expresses very strong dislike of a program and explains their reasons, that’s going to have an impact on the teen.”

“And I think it’s kind of up to parents or some figure like that to say ‘well that’s not the way it is, that’s just the way that it is on that t-v show,” says 16-year-old Mary Cloud.

Tips for Parents

The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that portrayals of sex on entertainment television may contribute to precocious adolescent sex. Approximately two-thirds of television programs contain sexual content, and adolescents who viewed more sexual content were more likely to initiate intercourse and progress to more advanced non-coital sexual activities. Youths in the top 10th percentile of television sex viewing were twice as likely to have sex as those youths who were in the bottom 10th percentile of viewing.

Adolescence is a key period of sexual exploration and development. This is the time when teens begin to consider which sexual behaviors are enjoyable, moral and appropriate for their age group. Many teens become sexually active during this period; currently, 46 percent of high school students in the United States admit to having had sexual intercourse. Consider the following:

By ninth grade, 34 percent of teens have had sexual intercourse. By 12th grade, this figure increases to 60 percent.

On average, teens watch three hours of television every day.

Watching a program that talked about sex was associated with the same risks as exposure to a program that depicted sexual behavior.

Approximately one in seven television programs includes a portrayal of sexual intercourse.
Television programs with sexual content have an average of 4.4 scenes per hour containing sexually related material.

Youths who watched more depictions of sexual risks or safety were less likely to initiate intercourse.

Watching sex on television predicts and may hasten adolescent sexual initiation. Reducing the amount of sexual content in entertainment programming, reducing adolescent exposure to this content, or increasing references to and depictions of the possible negative consequences of sexual activity could delay when teens embark on sexual activities. A quarter of all sexually active teens will contract a sexually transmitted disease each year. According to 57 percent of adults and 72 percent of teens, the media has given "more attention" to teen pregnancy prevention in recent years.

Remember that as a parent you may be able to reduce the effects of sexual content in the media by watching television with your teenagers and discussing your own beliefs about sex and the behaviors being portrayed. Most parents say they have discussed sex with their teenagers, but far fewer teenagers say they had such talks with their parents. Sixty-nine percent of teens report that it would be "much easier" to postpone sexual activity if they could have "more open, honest conversations" about sex with their parents. In addition:

About 60 percent of teens have a television in their bedroom. The only way to keep parental control of television viewing is to not let your teen have a television in the bedroom.
Unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases are more common among those who begin sexual activity earlier.

Two-thirds of sexually experienced teens wish they had waited longer to have intercourse.
Seventy-nine percent of teenage virgins are not embarrassed to tell others they have not had sex.

Youngsters who receive little parental supervision may have more time and freedom to watch sexually based programming and more opportunities to engage in sexual activity.

References
The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation
Medical News Today
Pediatrics
Rand Corporation
Talk With Your Kids
USA Today

Sue Scheff - Learn More about Teen Internet Addiction

Check out my new website to help parents better understand the high tech teen and where they are surfing on net! Click here.

Sue Scheff: What are your kids putting online?

I read this very interesting Blog today on today's kids and what they can put online about not only themselves, but about their parents! Not excluding other family members.

By Eve Tahmincioglu

Are your Internet-crazed kids sabotaging your job search/career?

Who knows things about you that you’d rather not share with the general public? That you drink two or three martinis every night. Maybe you like to call in sick when you’re really not sick to play basketball with the kids. Or maybe you’re prone to punching in walls when you fight with your spouse.
I’ve written a lot about digital dirt lately. You know, the negative information about you on the Internet you don’t want your boss or prospective employers to see.
Well, here’s a minefield you better keep an eye on — Your own digitally savvy kids that seem to spend every waking moment of their lives sending weird things to eachother on Facebook, or MySpace.
The owner of ReputationDefender.com, Michael Fertick, recently told me of a new phenomenon he’s discovered in his quest to help people everywhere protect their online reputations. The company helps individuals by searching the Internet for bad stuff about their customers and then finding ways to get rid of it. Sometimes it’s as simple as calling a blogger and asking that something negative be removed, and in other cases it requires writing lots of good stuff about a client so it drowns out the bad stuff.
The bad stuff usually comes from disgruntled girlfriends or boyfriends; people criticizing something you wrote or a project you worked on; or maybe you got rowdy at a football game and the local paper wrote about you.
But Fertik was surprised when he discovered a new source for the bad stuff — his customers’ own kids.
Turns out some tweens, teens and even 20 somethings out there are writing about private family matters on social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, and also sharing their pain on blogs. And they’re naming names.“We’ve seen discussions by kids of parents’ incomes,” he says. For example, ‘Dad makes $75,000 per year’. They also write about their parents’ relationships, “‘Mom and Dad are fighting pretty hard tonight’, of career news ‘Mom didn’t get the promotion she wanted’; and even social habits or qualities, ‘Dad is such a d–k,’ or ‘Dad is a friggin’ alcoholic.’”
Parents shouldn’t be too surprised that their children are sharing this stuff on the Web. Kids have always had to vent about family issues to their friends, but before the Internet, conversations were kept out of the public forum, for the most part.
Fertik’s advice: Talk to your kids and check out their FaceBook accounts now. “Let them know whatever they write is a tattoo that can stain them and you (the parent), possibly forever,” he adds.
We’ve all been so worried lately that our kids may end up writing something about themselves, or sharing suggestive photos of themselves on social networking sites that could end up hurting them when they go out into the job market. None of us thought about what they may be writing about us.
Is there something your kids know that could come back to haunt you?

Will Your Online Profile get You Hired or Fired?

This recent article articulates well what many teens need to realize - what they are pasting on their Social Networking sites can affect them tomorrow.

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/msn/careeradvice/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1598

Virtual Relationships

Source: www.onteenstoday.com

This is a post by one of our teen writers: Nate is a 16 year-old living in Los Angeles, CA and he writes his own awesome blog at Naterocks.com.

There is a new trend rising up from the scary underworld of technology. What has long been reserved for the supreme losers of the nerd world and is now gaining more and more acceptance in the “real” world. What is this scary trend? It is something called a Virtual Relationship. A virtual relationship can be just like one in real life; the two people call each other their girlfriend or boyfriend, they can talk to each other and see each other, however there is one major catch, they have never met in person. A virtual relationship is taking the saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” to the extreme.

This trend exists in the “grownup” too, but in the teen world it has become an acceptable form of dating. What is often misunderstood about virtual relationships is that the emotions evolved with one can be very similar or even completely identical to ones that take place in the “real” world. While there are many articles written about how it is not a normal relationship, many psychologists who have done research in the area claim that the relationships and friendships are indeed real.

Another reason that virtual relationships are ridiculed by many adults is that the people in the relationship could be lying to each other and one of them could be a predator. However with the introduction of social networking sites like Facebook, doing so has become harder. Additionally, a virtual relationship may be safer than one in the “real” world because the parties involved do not often plan on meeting and there is no chance of getting mono or an STD in a virtual relationship.

Sue Scheff: Web Friends Over Real Friends

By Connect with Kids

“All of these kinds of social worlds helps develop their ability to interact with people, and particularly, to do things like post a comment that might be a little controversial for example, and see what kind of reactions they get.”

– Larry Rosen, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology

Like many teens, Matt has tons of friends online. “My buddy list is full. It over 200 people in there. And it’s just all these people that have the same interests as me that I would have never met, if I just, you know, that don’t go to my school. They’re just around the country.”

According to a recent online survey, one in four kids say their internet friendships are equally or more important than friends met in person.

“Yeah, I mean, like. Cause of the internet, I’ve, you know, that’s where I found my social group, and I really kinda found out about myself,” agrees Matt.

But are these relationships healthy?

Experts say, on one hand, they give kids an opportunity to try out different personalities without consequence. “Kids are struggling to find out who they are. And who they are is in a lot of dimensions,” explains Professor of Psychology, Dr. Larry Rosen. “Who they are personally, what their skills are, but mostly it’s who they are in a social context, and that’s why these online social worlds like MySpace, all of these kinds of social worlds helps develop their ability to interact with people, and particularly, to do things like post a comment that might be a little controversial for example, and see what kind of reactions they get.”

But, on the other hand, Rosen says, like most things in life moderation is key.

“Because being in the virtual world, being in front of a screen all day is not sufficient for good teenage socialization. You need to have a combination of a screen life, and a real life,” he explains. “And so a good parent will make some sort of boundaries that say okay, you can have screen time, but after a certain amount of screen time you have to have some real outdoor time. Or some real communication time. And you can’t talk on the phone, it has to be face to face. You have to come talk to me, you have to go outside and hang out with some friends – you have to do something that’s in the real world.”

Tips for Parents

Most adults have an Internet-usage history that dates back no more than ten to fifteen years. But those growing up since the emergence of the Internet potentially could have their entire lives documented online. New parents can post online baby books for under $15 annually. Images once stored on a bookshelf at Grandma’s house can be available to the world without password protection. With Bunk1, the same can be said for memories of summer camp.

It is increasingly common for teens to have their own website. Many of these sites have a “blog”, where the owner can post running thoughts on a daily basis. Although some sites, like MySpace.com and LiveJournal.com, require users to be registered, membership is free and easy to obtain. If your child has a blog, encourage them to protect their blog so that can be read only by the friends and family they approve. Consider the following …

Only 10 percent of families posting their baby’s photos have the site protected with a password.
Many employers and colleges will enter a prospective applicant’s name in an Internet search engine to research their web presence.

Remind your child that not only friends and strangers, but also his or her parents, will be reading the blog.

Regularly monitor your child’s blog and immediately discuss any uncomfortable or inappropriate posts with your child.

It is very important to discuss various aspects of safety with your child, including the Internet and availability of information. Cite modern advances that have changed the world within the child’s lifetime and memory. Explain to your child that while your embarrassing photos and writings might be stored in a closet, an attic or even at Grandma’s home, the electronic versions your child might have will be much more accessible to anyone interested. Also, keep the following in mind:

If you do opt to post family photos online, be sure to place the images on a secure, password-protected site.

Search for names on an Internet search engine with your child to show him/her the possible places his/her information could be found.

Show your child how far e-mails, especially jokes and chain messages, can travel.

Monitor your child’s web usage and posts. An online diary usually does not have the same rights to privacy as a bound, handwritten journal because the online version is accessible to members of the public outside your home.

Know what posts, if any, you are able to delete from your child’s blog.

References
A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety
Pew Internet and American Life Project
Kids Help Phone

Sue Scheff: Bullies in Cyberspace

By http://www.education.com/

Everyone remembers the school bully in their lives. Maybe they stole your bike, or bloodied your nose, or spread a nasty rumor that had you hiding out in the bathroom. Whatever they did, they made life miserable. But as bad as they were, you could identify them, predict their behavior and try to steer clear.

Unfortunately for your kids, that may no longer be the case. That’s because bullies can still be on the school grounds, but they can also be in cyberspace, lurking where no one can see them.

Cyberbullying is on the rise, and the bad guys are not always who you think. A bully can be a girl spreading rumors about a former friend, or a student trying to get revenge on a teacher who gave them a bad grade, or a group of kids playing a prank on an unsuspecting schoolmate. Cyberbullying is a complex beast. Often it starts with otherwise nice kids from nice families who go online to “have a little fun” at someone else’s expense. But it can get out of hand very quickly.

Bullies are resourceful. With all the high-tech tools out there, they can take their pick from cell phones, pagers, websites, blogs, chat rooms, IMs, or emails. They can go on a site and invite other people in to help bully their victim – by asking them to comment on their picture. They can create a webpage that looks like it belongs to the person being bullied, but is malicious. They can enter an email address and have their victim spammed with messages from websites they’ve never visited. They can put up embarrassing pictures, or even use a tool like Photoshop to adjust a picture and make it look different.

Read entire article here: http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Ed_Bullies_Cyberspace_2/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Hand in Hand Parenting

Hand in Hand (formerly Parents Leadership Institute) helps parents acquire the skills they need to build and rebuild close connections with their children. We also encourage parents to build close connections with other parents, so they are able to learn and share with others, and work together to build a healthier community.

Visit www.handinhandparenting.com

Sue Scheff: Shoulder to Shoulder, Raising Teens Together

Is your teen pushing your buttons?Not sure how to handle it?

We're here to help you make the most of your relationship, stay ahead of the game and find common ground with your teenager. Shoulder to Shoulder is dedicated to making your job easier by connecting parents and caregivers and sharing the insights of those who have been there before. From written resources and a Blog for parents of teens to relevant research and parenting tips, we hope you find our resources useful as you navigate the teen years with your child.

Click here for more about Shoulder to Shoulder.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Internet Predators Target Teens with Depression

By Johanna Curtis


Internet Predators Target Teens with Depression, Acne and Mental Illness

Bipolar, Acne, Depression, Chronic Illness? Your Teen May be More Vulnerable

Net predators mostly target vulnerable teens. Find out which teens are most vulnerable and how to protect them. Acne, depression, bipolar put teens at risk.

It’s not our youngest children, but our teens that are most at risk from internet predators. So say Janis Wolak, JD, David Finkelhor, PhD, Kimberly Mitchell, PhD and Michele Ybarra, PhD, at the Crimes against Children Research Center, University of New Hampshire. In a study entitled “Online Predators and Their Victims: Myths, Realties and Implications” published in the February/March 2008 issue of American Psychologist, the researchers reveal that it’s vulnerable teens rather than younger children who are the targets of predatory adults. The journal is published by the American Psychological Association (APA).

In opposition to popular opinion, adult predators are not posing as teens to attract very young children and they don’t generally abduct or rape children. Instead the study showed that most predators didn’t hide their adult status, only their motivations, and that teens in particular are their intended victims.

In these scenarios they attempted to gain the trust of a vulnerable teen and then seduced them into sexually motivated relationships or meetings.

A considerable amount of time may be spent courting these teens who are often from difficult family backgrounds or vulnerable circumstances. Any teen might be vulnerable but teens with chronic illness, teenage acne, physical disability, bipolar disorder, depression, body image concerns and eating disorders are at particular risk.

These are just a few examples of the kinds of teens who may easily be lured into the web of an online predator. Since the predator may grow to know the teen very well and spend plenty of time talking to them, the teen is often a willing participant in the sexual encounter, seeing it as a blur of romance, acceptance or sexual awakening.

Often the teens have been victims of sexual or physical abuse, marital discord and health problems. Teens also tend to be prone to risk taking in both real life and virtual settings.

One teen was lured into an encounter when he identified with the predator’s fabricated struggle to find the best treatment for adult acne. In this case the teen was looking for advice on treating acne and he found it in this particular online predator.

This endeared the man to him and set the stage for a later sexual encounter. Thus it is possible that your teen starts out sharing a home recipe for back acne treatment and ends up in a scary situation!

In short- teens with low self esteem, body image, emotional and family problems that enjoy the thrill of taking risks are exactly they type of child that an online predator is hoping to find.

Three surveys were conducted by the researchers-two took the form of telephone interviews with 3000 internet users aged ten to seventeen (200o and 2005) and in the other 612 interviews were held with federal, state and local law enforcement officials in the United States (October 2001- July 2002).

The researchers emphasized the importance of the study: “To prevent these crimes, we need accurate information about their true dynamics," said Janis Wolak.

“The things that we hear and fear and the things that actually occur may not be the same. The newness of the environment makes it hard to see where the danger is."

Also important was the finding that social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace did not aggravate predator abuse. Instead teens who spent time talking online to strangers particularly about sexual topics were placed in the highest risk categories. "Most Internet-initiated sex crimes involve adult men who are open about their interest in sex," Wolak said. "The offenders use instant messages, e-mail and chat rooms to meet and develop intimate relationships with their victims. In most of the cases, the victims are aware that they are talking online with adults." "A majority of the offenders are charged with crimes such as statutory rape, that involve non-forcible sexual activity with adolescent victims who are too young to consent to sexual intercourse with adults," she said.

When children are discouraged from sharing personal details and being deceived online it does little to deter these problems the study revealed. Adults keeping constant tabs on internet activities did not prove to be the answer either.

Instead it is suggested by the researchers that parents should spend time teaching teens about the risks associated with certain types of behavior.

This means that parents should be having open and honest discussions about romantic or sexual relationships/encounters with an adult. The risks and patterns inherent in online relationships should be pointed out to the teen without making him/her feel judged. Unfortunately this is often easier said than done.

These families often have considerable communication difficulties already and the teens may not feel respectful or trusting towards their parent or caregiver. In this case other sources could be found that could help provide information to the teen.

The study also revealed that adults do not pretend to be teens very often (5% of crimes committed involved an adult impersonating a teen). Seventy-five percent of victims who met a predator did so on more than a single occasion.

Predators are not usually violent and do not generally force their victims into sexual behavior, instead they attempt to court them into making the decision for themselves. In the mind of the predator this relieves them of some of the responsbility for their crimes. He/she does not seem to consider the naivete or inexperience of the average teen.

It also appears that teens who have been involved in risky online activities reveal that they have received sexual offers over the internet. Risky activities might take the form of spending time talking to or e-mailing strangers, talking about sex with strangers or being antagonistic or nasty to people online.

Homosexual teen boys are at special risk say researchers. This is because they are unsure of their sexuality. One quarter of crimes committed involved boys who were gay or questioning their sexuality.

The best thing parents can do is maintain consistent open communication with their teens about their online activities. If a teen seems secretive about his/her online activities then investigate by searching their computer for any e-mails, chats, instant messages or other risky online activities.

Do not feel as though you are breaching your teen’s privacy. Young boys and girls do deserve some private time and activities, but in this case some well-timed “snooping” might save a life so if you feel at all uneasy don’t hesitate to try to uncover your teens internet habits.

The entire article may be found at: http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/amp632111.pdf

Wrapped in the Web Newly Updated by Sue Scheff

Visit the newly updated website today - click here. Learn more about keeping your kids safe in Cyberspace.

Sue Scheff: Learn More about Teen Internet Addiction

Visit "Wrapped in the Web" which is a comprehensive website to better understand today's teens and their addiction to Cyberspace.

Sue Scheff: Getting Your Teen To Talk

By ParentingMyTeen.com

Visit - http://www.parentingmyteen.com/

Depending upon your relationship, getting your teen to talk to you could be an agonizing or enjoyable exchange. If your teen is not communicative or willing to discuss issues, then it is up to you to find ways to get your teen to open up. How? Here are some suggestions.Oftentimes, teens are afraid to discuss a problem head on. Therefore, living in a home that is filled with love and understanding is crucial. While one teen may find it easier to talk to Mom and another feels more comfortable talking with Dad, the conditions in the home are critical to the teen being able to talk about anything at anytime. This process begins at birth. Having conversations with each other is one way to instill a sense of openness in the home. Moms and dads who constantly talk to each other and their children, whether at the dinner table or during bedtime, allow the child to feel good about discussing any topic with one or both parents. Consequently, your child will grow up in an atmosphere where freedom of expression is not only expected but encouraged.

Teenagers come with their own set of problems and issues. It’s the natural course of events for teens. This does not mean, however, they must sit in their rooms contemplating situations which they are neither ready for, nor can handle. Keeping the lines of communication open may be difficult at times, especially if all you get out of your teenager is a grunt of acknowledgement. Don’t give up, no matter how difficult the situation becomes. Whether your teen will admit it or not, having you there allows them to feel safe and secure, even though they don’t show it.

You can be assured, however, when the time is right and when the teen feels there are no other options available, he or she will open up. This is the point at which you should listen carefully to what is being offered. While your teen may not be asking your advice, the ability to be able to say what is on his or her mind may be enough to get out of the funk he or she is in.

However, if you feel your teen has become so distant that nothing seems to work, it may be time to seek help. In the meantime, without being invasive, keep an eye on your teen, ensure he or she is eating and sleeping, and communicating with friends. Every teen is different in how they approach life’s ups and downs. Think back to when you were a teen. Were you as open with your parents as you’d like your teen to be? If not, perhaps the inability to talk openly amongst family members began then.

As parents, we have a lot to deal with in our own lives. Sometimes even we shut down due to the pressure. Getting your teen to talk to you may be just as hard as getting your spouse to talk to you. It is in talking that we let out our innermost thoughts and feelings. Perhaps by learning how to talk to each other, you will instill confidence in your teen to follow your lead.


www.helpyourteens.com
www.witsendbook.com

Sue Scheff: Parenting Kids Today can be Challenging

Connect with Kids is a comprehensive website that offers parenting articles, helpful tips for parents, parent forums and more. They also offer Parenting DVD's on a variety of subjects that affect our kids today. Whether it is Troubled Teens or how to raise successful kids - there is probably a DVD that can help you better understand the issues surrounding our kids today.

Click here for more information and a variety of Parenting DVD's.

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Parenting Your Kids on the Web

The Controversy

While the idea of addiction possibly forming through over usage of the Internet has long been ignored, doctors and parents are beginning to take notice of this disturbing trend in teens.
The term "Internet addiction" was introduced in the late 1990s and has been dismissed by the majority of medical professionals. Many believe that excessive time spent surfing the web is in fact a warning signal for a larger and more dangerous mental disease like depression. Others believe that while Internet addiction can exist on its own, the solitary behavior can lead to growing levels of depression, anxiety, self-consciousness and obesity.

Though the verdict is still out in the medical communities, parents worldwide are concerned over their teens as they spend more and more time in front of computer screens.
Sue Scheff™ parent advocate and founder of Parents Universal Resource Experts™, believes that Internet usage should be monitored closely by parents.

"Parents aren't as concerned with their teens who are online once in a while," said Scheff. "Parents are concerned with the teens who are completely addicted to MySpace or some other Web site. The ones who are not able to tear themselves away."

Sue Scheff™ along with so many parents, knows that that while internet addiction can be a symptom of or fuel a teenager's depression or anxiety, there are other dangers lurking from behind the web.

"The fact is that these teens can become introverts. It affects levels of growth and maturity." Scheff says. "The other thing is teens don't understand that people lie online, people aren't honest online. Do you really know who is on the other end of those messages or chat rooms?"
As parents, we must take a stand together to educate others on the dangers of Internet addiction. Looking for support from other parents? Visit the official website of Sue Scheff™'s Parents Universal Resource Experts.

Find out more - click here.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Screen Addicts

By Connect with Kids

Screen Addicts

New research shows that each week our children spend five hours online, six hours on the phone, eight hours playing video games, 12 hours listening to music, and 30 hours watching TV or movies. The American Medical Association reports that five million kids are addicted to videogames. This program explores the dangers in the technology that has overtaken our kids’ lives.

The profiles include four siblings constantly fighting over use of the family computer, a teenager whose addiction to online pornography started when he was 12 years old, and another teen who got hooked on Internet gambling and is now paying off $18,000 in credit card debt.

The program also examines choices parents can make about how to protect their children from these hazards; the research is clear that one parenting style is far more effective than several others.

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Web Awareness for Parents

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Wrapped In the Web - Teen Internet Addiction.