Showing posts with label Cyberbullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cyberbullying. Show all posts

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sueu Scheff: Parenting, Teens and Cyberbullying

Source: TeensHealth

Bullies and mean girls have been around forever, but technology has given them a whole new platform for their actions. As adults, we're becoming more aware that the "sticks and stones" adage no longer holds true; virtual name-calling can have real-world effects on the well being of kids and teens.

It's not always easy to know how and when to step in as a parent. For starters, our kids tend to use technology differently than we do. Many spend a lot of time on social networking sites, send text messages and instant messages (IMs) by the hundreds, and are likely to roll their eyes at the mention of email — that's "so old-school" to them. Their knowledge and habits can be intimidating, but they still need us as parents.

Fortunately, our growing awareness of cyberbullying has helped us learn a lot more about how to prevent it. Here are some suggestions on what to do if online bullying has become part of your child's life.

What Is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. By definition, it occurs among young people. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time.

Sometimes cyberbullying can be clear-cut. For example, leaving overtly cruel cell phone text messages or mean notes posted to Web sites. Other acts are less obvious, such as impersonating a victim online or posting personal information or videos designed to hurt or embarrass another child.

Cyberbullying also can happen accidentally. The impersonal nature of text messages, IMs, and emails make it very hard to detect the sender's tone — one teen's joke or sense of humor could be another's devastating insult. Nevertheless, a repeated pattern of emails, text messages, and online posts is rarely accidental.

A 2006 poll from the national organization Fight Crime: Invest in Kids found that 1 in 3 teens and 1 in 6 preteens have been the victims of cyberbullying. As more and more youths have access to computers and cell phones, the incidence of cyberbullying is likely to rise.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts: Trying to Deal With High-TechBullying


Trying to deal with high-techbullying


By Michele Miller, Times Staff Writer

“YOU SUCK! — I HATE YOU!!!"

The 12-year-old was being dumped. That message, sent via e-mail, was the first indication something was amiss between the two friends who, just weeks earlier, had been enjoying late-night, giggling sleepovers and Saturday night roller-skating ventures.

Then, with the click of the "send" button, it was over.

Well, not quite.

A deeper cyber investigation through MySpace revealed that there were others involved, that my daughter was the planned target of a shunning campaign to commence this coming school year.

Here we go again. Middle school mean girls ganging up. Time to contact the parents, try to work things out or at least get it to stop, help the 12-year-old find the valuable life lessons in all of this.

With friends like these … .

You really don't want to peak in middle/high school.

And the big one: empathy. Yeah, kiddo, now you know what it feels like. It's crummy, for sure, but in the end, this can help make you a better person.

If you don't have anything nice to say … .

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Some call it a rite of passage.

Anyone who has made it through middle school knows that bullying happens all the time.

Just ask any middle school guidance counselor or school psychologist. Traditionally, they are the leaders sponsoring those antibullying programs we read about in the school newsletter.

There have been books written on how to deal with it. School assemblies. There's even an annual national conference.

"Don't be so catty," was how my mom used to warn me when she thought I was crossing the line.

"Catty" was her word for it.

These days, "relational aggression'' is the psycho-scientific name for the girl-on-girl type of bullying that seems to flourish in the tween/teen years. By many accounts, it tapers off when self-assurance kicks in. Even so, the bully mentality often carries on into adulthood.

Yup, some of us never grow out of it.

Think Lori Drew, the MySpace cyber-bully mom from suburban St. Louis. In May, Drew was indicted for allegedly harassing a 14-year-old girl through a fake MySpace page she created.

The girl, who thought she was being dumped by a 16-year-old boy she had developed a cyber crush on, later committed suicide.

And closer to home, just check out some of the nasty exchanges some Times readers submit anonymously at the end of various online news articles. Cyber-bullying, while not the intent, is all too often the result when online publications like this one offer a forum for reader input. And it's not just the girls. From what I've seen, there are plenty of guys getting in on the cyber-mob mentality.

"Really now," I want to tell them all. "Behave yourself. Don't be so catty!"

Or at least exhibit some restraint.

Alas, that "submit" button is so easy to push — especially when you're in the privacy of your own home or office cubicle.

Sure, you are required to give your first name and e-mail address before writing your comment in 250 characters or less.

But who really knows if your name is "Pete" or "Mary" or if you are listing your sister-in-law's e-mail address instead of your own?

Here's an old-fashioned idea:

Write a letter to the editor. You can even e-mail it.

Of course you'd be required to sign your first and last name to that scribe before it would be published. Your phone number, too, so the Times can be sure that you really are who you say you are.

That would take some courage, and perhaps, some real conviction behind those words.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Teen Internet Addiction by Sue Scheff

Introduction
In today's society, the Internet has made its way into almost every American home. It is a well-known fact that the web is a valuable asset for research and learning. Unfortunately, it can also be a very dangerous place for teens. With social networking sites like Myspace and Friendster, chat rooms, instant messaging, and online role-playing video games, our children are at access to almost anyone. Sue Scheff, along with Parent's Universal Resource Experts™, is tackling the dangers of the web.

Keeping tabs on our teens' online habits doesn't just keep them safe from online predators. More and more parents are becoming wary of the excessive hours their teens spend surfing the web, withdrawing from family, friends and activities they used to enjoy. Internet Addiction is a devastating problem facing far too many teens and their families. While medical professionals have done limited research on the topic, more and more are recognizing this destructive behavior and even more, the potential mental effects it can have.

Though the web is a great place for learning and can be safe for keeping in touch, it is important that families understand the potential risks and dangers to find a healthy balance between real and virtual life.

The Basics: The Dangers of Teen Internet Addiction
It’s clear that, for teenagers, spending too much time online can really deter social and educational development. The Internet world is such that there is always something new to do and to distract one from one’s responsibilities. We all do it- take ten minutes here or there to explore our favorite gossip or sports site. There is nothing wrong with using the Internet as a tool for research, news, and even entertainment. After all, the World Wide Web is the world’s most accurate, up to date resource for almost any type of information.

But as the Internet evolves and becomes more tailored to the individual, it grows increasingly easier to develop a dependency on it. This is especially true for teens- a group that tends to be susceptible to flashy graphics and easily enticed by the popularity of social networks. In a sense, the Internet is the new video game or TV show. It used to be that adolescents would sit in front of the TV for hours on end operating a remote, shooting people and racing cars. Now they surf the web. Teens are impressionable and can at times be improperly equipped to handle certain situations with a degree of reason and rationality. And although they may have good intentions, they might be at risk of coming across something inappropriate and even dangerous.

Sexual Predators
We’ve all heard the stories about children entering chat rooms who end up talking to someone older than them who may be looking for something more than merely a chat. These tales may sound far-fetched, or to some, even mundane, because of the publicity they’ve received, but as a parent it would be rather foolish to dismiss them as hearsay or as something that could never actually happen to your child. The fact is, these accounts of sexual predation are all too true and have caused some families a great deal of strain and fear. Even pre-adolescents have been known to join chat rooms. The reality is that there is no real way of knowing who might be in one at any given time. An even scarier thought is that these forums are often sexual predators’ main source of contact with young children. In fact, the popular TV show, [To Catch a Predator (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603/)], employs someone to pose as a teen and entice these sex offenders. The show profiles the interactions between them all the way up until the actual meeting. Some of the situations portrayed are horrifying. If you’re the parent of a teen or pre-teen, make sure to monitor Internet activity with regards to chat rooms and educate your child on the potential dangers they present.

Sensitive Subject Matter
Human curiosity is perhaps at its peak during one’s teenage years. That curiosity is what aids teens in the growth and development process. It’s necessary for survival as an adolescent and can provide for some great discoveries and maturation. However, teen curiosity can also potentially lead a person into some questionable situations, and the Internet is a prime medium through which to quell one’s inquisitiveness. Let’s face it- teenagers are anxious to be knowledgeable about topics such as sex, drugs, and other dangerous subject matter.

Talking to your teen about these sensitive subjects before he or she has a chance to search online can be a great way to allay his or her need to surf the web for more information. The Internet might be an excellent tool for presenting interesting data, but it can also grossly misrepresent certain issues. If a teenager wants to learn about sex or drugs via the web, he or she might decide to do a search containing the words “sex” or, perhaps “marijuana.” The results your child might find may not necessarily be the type of educational, instructive material you’d hope they would receive. The Internet may be savvy, but one thing it’s not capable of doing is knowing who is using it at any given time and how to customize its settings. Talk to your children about subjects you feel are important before they have the chance to find out themselves. You never know what they might come across.

Limited Social Growth
There is no better time to experience new things and meet new people than during one’s teenage years. Getting outside, going to social gatherings, and just having a good time with friends are among some of the most productive and satisfying activities in which teenagers can engage. While the Internet can provide a degree of social interaction, online networks and connections cannot replace the benefits of in-person contact. Teen Internet Addiction is dangerous because it limits a person’s options when it comes to communication. Much of learning and growing as a teen comes from the lessons one learns through friendships, fights, disagreements, trends, popularity, etc.

The Internet has made it all too easy for teens to recoil from the pressures of adolescence and remain indoors. The lure of the web can often make it seem as though social networks and online gaming are acceptable substitutes for real life. Teens can find acceptance in chat rooms and message boards, while at school they might be complete outcasts. It’s easy for teenagers to rebuff the idea of interacting with their peers and risking rejection when the Internet can provide for a seemingly relaxed environment. Children need to know that Internet addiction and reliance on online forums will only stunt social growth and make life much more difficult in the future.

Sedentary Lifestyle
Internet dependency also inherently promotes a lifestyle that is not conducive to exercise and physical activity. Many teens tend to become so enthralled in games or chats that peeling them away from the computer can prove to be an ominous task. The entertainment the Internet can provide often trumps the option to leave the house and get exercise. Parents should encourage their teens to use the Internet for school projects and some degree of entertainment, but they should also limit the time that they are allowed to spend on the computer. Begin supporting your child’s involvement in sports teams at an early age and make outside activities fun and interesting. The earlier a child is introduced to the mental and physical benefits of outside activity, the more likely he or she is to avoid inside amusements such as the Internet, TV, and video games.

Nowadays it seems our whole lives can be conducted via the Internet. We can order, purchase, and have groceries delivered all with the click of a few buttons. We can play games, talk to people, find dates, and even attend AA meetings online. The Internet may have made our lives and their day-to-day processes exponentially easier to accomplish, but by the same token it has also increased our dependence on the advantages it can provide. The convenience it creates has been known to cause some people to recoil from outside situations, opting to conduct as much business as possible from home. We must be careful of this trend, especially with teenagers, for whom positive (and negative) social interaction help to form valuable personality and wisdom.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

INTERNET LAW - Bullying and Cyber-Bullying Prohibited under Florida Law


Source: Internet Business Law Services


Bullying and, in particular, cyber-bullying is becoming a frequent practice among the American youth. Incidents are reaching such daunting results that state legislatures are rapidly adopting measures. For instance, Florida Legislature adopted an anti-bullying, including cyber-bullying, law on April 2008. The law is called "Jeffrey Johnston Stand Up for All Students Act" (Fla. Stat. section 1006.147), named after Jeffrey Johnston, a 15-year-old boy who committed suicide after being the object of bullying, including Internet bullying, for two years. This new Florida law prohibits bullying and harassment of any public K-12 student or employee, and requires public schools to adopt measures to protect students and employees from the physical and psychological effects of bullying and harassment.


The Florida Senate, quoting to a report by SafeYouth.org, stated that "bullying behavior can involve direct attacks, such as hitting, threatening or intimidating, maliciously teasing or taunting, name-calling, making sexual remarks, and stealing or damaging belongings, or more subtle, indirect attacks such as spreading rumors or encouraging others to reject or exclude someone." It also stated that bullies are four times more likely than non-bullies to be convicted of a crime by age 24, with 60% of bullies having at least one criminal conviction.

Thus, this Florida law is considered a safety measure for schools and the Florida community. Section 1006.147, titled "Bullying and Harassment Prohibited," proscribes bullying and harassment in Florida's K-12 public educational institutions; in any educational program or activity conducted by an educational institution; or through the use of data or software accessed by a computer, computer system, or computer network of a K-12 public educational institution. Hence, using the school e-mail network, even while at home, to bully or harass other students is prohibited by this Florida law. The law expressly defines "bullying" as the act of systematically or chronologically inflicting physical harm or emotional distress on a student. The law also provides examples of conducts that may result in bullying:

1. Teasing;
2. Social exclusion;
3. Threat;
4. Intimidation;
5. Stalking;
6. Physical violence;
7. Theft;
8. Sexual or racial harassment;
9. Public humiliation; or
10. Destruction of property.

Harassment is defined as any verbal, written, or physical conduct that threatens, insults, or dehumanizes public school students or employees. Written harassment includes those committed through electronic means and the use of computer software. The conduct must be sufficient to place the student or employee in reasonable fear of harm against him or his property; and sufficient to interfere with the student"s school performance, opportunities, or benefits. The Florida anti-bullying law also penalizes those who induce or coerce others to bully or harass public school students or employees. Students, parents, volunteers, or employees that promptly and in good faith report bullying acts will be exempted from civil cause of actions against them.

The Florida anti-bullying law also mandates each school district to adopt a code of conduct against bullying and harassment by December 1, 2008. This code of conduct must protect all students regardless of their status under the law but the school districts are authorized to create student categories when drafting their school policies. In any event, the code of conduct must include a general prohibition of bullying and harassment; a definition of these terms; an expected student conduct and behavior; description of the consequences of falsely and wrongfully accusing others of bullying and harassment; the procedures for reporting bullying and harassment incidents, including anonymous reports; a procedure for the prompt investigation of these acts; a procedure to determine whether the acts are within the district school system; a procedure to notify parents and criminal authorities; a procedure to refer victims to counseling; among others.

The Florida Department of Education affords an additional protection for victims of bullying and harassment by, first, monitoring district school activities, including transportation, through permanent collection of data (24 hours a day, 7 days a week); and second, enhancing the School Environmental Safety Incident Reporting System (SESIR). This program allows district schools to report bullying activities and conducts an annual database management workshop.

The Florida anti-bullying and harassment law is definitely well received and the first intent to control youth behavior, including Internet behavior. Yet, questions arise as to the consequences incurred when violating this law. It is not clear under the text of this law whether its violation merely includes school disciplinary actions or whether subsequent criminal actions will be sought. This is an important question whose answer is yet to come.

Law and sociology have been close partners for centuries; another important question is where are the parents parenting? A sociological answer to this question might take us to the genesis of most bullying and harassment problems which is essential for state legislatures and school officials.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Impact of Cyberbullying


Victims of cyberbullying may experience many of the same effects as children who are bullied in person, such as a drop in grades, low self-esteem, a change in interests or depression. However, cyberbullying can seem more extreme to its victims because of several factors:

Occurs in children’s home. Being bullied at home can take away the place children feel most safe.

Can be harsher. Often kids say things online that they wouldn’t say in person, mainly because they can’t see the other person’s reaction.

Far reaching. Kids can send e-mails making fun of someone to their entire class or school with a few clicks, or post them on a Web site for the whole world to see.

Anonymity. Cyberbullies often hide behind screen names and e-mail addresses that don’t identify who they are. Not knowing who is responsible for bullying messages can add to a victim’s insecurity.

May seem inescapable. It may seem easy to get away from a cyberbully by going offline, but for some kids not going online takes away a major place to socialize.

Source: National Crime Prevention Council.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Sue Scheff: Don't Be Cyber Bullied!




Cyber Bullying is social terror by technology ... and it’s on the rise.

When a kid of any age, up to 18 is threatened, humiliated, harassed, or humiliated via use of technology --- this is Cyber Bullying. It’s harmful and it’s dangerous!

This social online terror is used through e-mail, cell phones, pager text messages, instant messaging, Web sites, online personal polling Web sites. It is done by kids deliberately and repeatedly and is used by an individual or group with the intention of harming other kids and teens.

It’s cool to use technology to talk to your friends and make new ones. While most kids use the Internet responsibly, others are using all of this technology to terrorize and Cyberbully!

Cyber Bullying is the perfect way for bullies to remain anonymous.

Cyber Bullying makes it easier for bullies because they are not face to face with their victim(s.)


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Internet Safety and Your Children


This Press Release is posted with the permission of InternetSafety.com - Visit Internet Safety for more vital information to protect your children online.


10 Tips For Keeping Your Kids Safe On Social Networks

ATLANTA, GA — May 28, 2008 — June is Internet Safety month. With hundred of millions of teens, pre-teens—and adults—around the world using social networking sites, there’s no better time for parents to be aware of the fun, the benefits, the powerful attractions, and the potential risks that MySpace, Facebook and other similar sites offer their children.

InternetSafety.com, the recognized leader in Internet safety solutions, has assembled a list of practical tips parents can use to ensure a safe networking environment for kids:

Show Interest — Ask questions about how your child’s preferred social networking site or sites work. Kids are generally happy to demonstrate their knowledge if you show genuine interest. You can even ask your teen to show you how to set up your own social networking site—a great way to visit your child’s page and see what’s been posted there.


Encourage Instinctive Responses — Kids often can instinctively do the right thing, which makes them their own first defense against those who may take advantage online. Encourage your children to avoid contact with people they “feel funny about.” Tell them to not reveal anything online they would not want a stranger to know. Limit the posting of pictures and remind them that once something is placed online, it can never be taken back.


Know Your Kids’ Passwords — If your child changes his or her password suddenly and refuses to share it with you, that’s trouble. Insist on knowing how to access his or her accounts—then keep their confidence by not sharing the information with their friends or siblings.


Set Hours for When Kids Can Access Social Networks — Late nights are the favorite time for predators to seek out their adolescent prey. Set firm limits not only for the time of day, but also the total amount of time, that your children may access social networking sites.


Be Aware of Alternate Access Points — Kids don’t have to access their social networks at home. Libraries, friends’ houses, even cell phones make the Internet easy to reach today. Keep up with what’s happening on your child’s social networking page and be aware when changes have been made despite the lack of access from home.


Exercise Your Parental Right to Supervise — There’s a difference between being snoopy and ensuring safe activity. You don’t have to read every last word of a personal message your son or daughter sends to a friend. But you do have the right—and the obligation—to see who your kids are talking to, and to know the general subject matter.


Check for Photos — By clicking on the Windows “Start” button, you’ll find the “Search” tool. Click on “Pictures, Music or Video,” the box next to “Pictures and Photos,” and finally “Search”. Ask your child to identify any photos of strangers, or any other pictures you find questionable.


Install Filtering Software — PC products like Safe Eyes allow parents to block or record Instant Messenger chats, limit email use to prescribed addresses, block objectionable Web sites (including peer-to-peer file sharing programs that often expose kids to inappropriate material), and receive alerts when kids post personal information on social networking sites.
Watch for CyberBullying — Encourage your children to tell you immediately if they are being harassed online. Children also need to know that it is not acceptable to be a party to cyberbullying—or to remain silent when they know others are being harassed.


Visit StopCyberBullying.org or StopBullyingNow.hrsa.gov for excellent tips and information.


Don’t Lecture — Finally, if you should find reasons for concern, don’t browbeat, insult or condescend to your child. Have a discussion about values and why they are important. Respect your child but be firm. And most of all, lead by example. Parents have a powerful ability to influence their child’s behavior—and nothing is more powerful than someone who not only talks values, but lives them.


“Parents should never feel that their level of involvement in their child’s social network activity is excessive. Since 1998, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s CyberTipline has logged over 33,000 tips about children being enticed online for sexual acts,” said Shane Kenny, President and COO of InternetSafety.com. “Better that the parent error on the side of intrusion, rather than bear the consequences of doing nothing.”


About InternetSafety.com
Established in 1999, InternetSafety.com specializes in providing Internet safety solutions. Its flagship software, Safe Eyes, is the two-time recipient of the PC Magazine Editors’ Choice Award and was rated as the #1 parental control solution by America’s leading consumer advocacy publication. The company’s Safe Eyes and EtherShield products are providing online protection for PCs and Macs in homes, businesses and schools across more than 125 countries.

# # # #

http://www.helpyourteens.com/
http://www.suescheff.com/
http://www.witsendbook.com/

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Dozier Internet Law: MySpace Hacking Indictment Well Supported




Cyberbullying is finally be recognized! This was a long time coming and how sad that it took the death of an innocent young girl to help make a movement towards change.


As a victim and survivor of Cyber harassment, you don't have to be a child to be harassed and bullied online - it is happening to all ages. The case of Megan Meier is nothing short of tragic and brings cyberbullying to a new level of extreme concern.


I received emails and calls daily from victims of Cyber Slander and Internet Abuse, this is a growing and expanding problem that needs to be addressed, this new bill is only the beginning. After winning an unprecedented jury verdict for damages of what was done to me on the Internet of over $11.M - I continue to be a voice for those that are being harassed and help others with their potential cases. When the jury read through the many posts of slanderous and defamatory comments posted online about my family, my organization and myself - they were appalled. They told my attorney and myself they set the verdict high to send a message - you can't use your keypad as a weapon to harm others.


John W. Dozier, Jr., AV rated and Preeminent "Super Lawyer" in the law of the Internet, founder of award winning, venture backed e-commerce companies beginning in February of 1994, and President of Dozier Internet Law, offers his conservative, pro-business perspective.


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Keeping your Kids Safe Online - Cyberbully Awareness


More and more news articles, media and others are finally taking Cyberbullying seriously. As both a victim and survivor of being abused in Cyberspace - I know first hand how important this subject is.


Kids today need to be aware of what lingers online as well as take precautions not to feed into Cyberbullys and their tactics of invading a child's privacy.


As a parent, you can take steps to protect your kids online. Know what they are doing and where they are going in Cyberspace. It is almost as important as knowing where they are going when they leave your house! Take Cyberspace seriously!


A recent news article by the Associated Press is one of many that are bringing this awareness to parents.


I always encourage parents to consider Reputation Defender MyChild to help protect your children online, especially in the social networking sites such as MySpace and others.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sue Scheff: Parentings Learn More About Internet Safety with their Kids


Beware on the Web


Cyberbullying a Growing Concern for Parents, Schools


By JENNIFER FICKLEY-BAKER
LEDGER CORRESPONDENT


With recent high-profiled cases revolving around cyberbullying - sending or receiving threatening messages online or via text message - teens' online interactions are becoming a growing concern for parents and school districts alike. A 2005 study on cyberbullying by Florida Atlantic University's Sameer Hinduja revealed that approximately 34.4 percent of adolescents reported experiencing some sort of cyberbullying.

What's even more troubling is that more than 40 percent of respondents didn't tell anyone about their cyberbullying experience.

Three recent cases of cyberbullying have shed light on just what a serious impact this type of bullying can have. Thirteen-year-old Megan Meier of Dardenne Prairie, Mo.; 15-year-old Jeffrey Johnston of Cape Coral; and 12-year-old Ryan Halligan of Essex Junction, Vt., each committed suicide after encountering separate acts of what their families consider to be cyberbullying.

In 2007, Meier hung herself after she was "dumped" by a male friend on MySpace, when in actuality the male friend was really a neighborhood girl and her mother posing as a teen boy.

Johnson killed himself in 2005 after receiving a string of threatening e-mails and Internet posts, and Halligan committed suicide in 2003 after false rumors about his sexual orientation spread online.

Though these cases represent the extreme end of the spectrum and each of these children may have had other factors affecting their emotional state, cyberbullying is an increasing problem that students across the nation are experiencing.

Cristin Cotton, a senior at Harrison Center for the Visual and Performing Arts, recently deleted her personal MySpace page. Not because she was being bullied, but because she wanted to avoid getting pulled into online drama.

"MySpace and Facebook and sites like that used to be a place to talk and hang out and stuff, but now girls get in fights online and guys get involved and it's a bad situation," Cotton said, and advises younger kids to be wary of what to post online. "Definitely be careful of what you say. I feel like a fight between you and your friend is a fight between you and your friend, not you and everyone else on the Internet."

When it comes to guarding against cyberbullying - or bullying of any kind - Polk County School District employs Jim Maxwell, a school psychologist who specializes in handling student conflict, as well as developing training for teachers on how to identify and deal with bullies.


WHO BECOMES A CYBERBULLY?

According to Maxwell, the cyberbully is a different kind of specimen than the average playground bully.

"The typical bully research indicates that kids that bully do so because it benefits them," he said. "It gives them a sense of control and power. ... Another characteristic of a bully is getting what he wants through intimidation, and that's the way it works at home. Often a bully at school is a child that's being bullied at home, generally by the dominant male in the house.

"The cyberbully who uses electronic media to repeatedly harass someone may be different. I suspect that the overall motives remain the same, but some cyberbully kids are simply bored. If you think of prank callers, they're just seeing if they can do it to do it. I think there's a wider variety of kids engaging in cyberbullying than in direct forms of bullying."

According to Maxwell, the school district does have the power to step in and punish those who engage in cyberbullying, even if the interactions do not occur on school property or on school-owned computers. If those online threats cause a disturbance at the school in the form of gossip, class disruption or a confrontation between the students, the school has the right to get involved, he said.


WHAT'S CYBERBULLYING AND WHAT'S A SPAT?

It is, however, difficult to define cyberbullying behavior. An administrator must look at the circumstances behind what is written. For example, was the student writing the message being sarcastic? Was the comment written in response to something the other person had written about them? Or are there specific threats involved?

"Typically, the way to distinguish between cyberbullying is that someone has to analyze what kind of threat is involved, how frequently it's being used, and the sort of nature of the threat. If it's a one-time thing, it's probably harassment," Maxwell said. "If it's in any way repeated or linked up with behaviors occurring in school, then you have a history of bullying."

Maxwell says the standard definition of bullying includes:

An intention to demean or embarrass or make someone feel powerless or actually hurt them.

Repetition over time, and

An imbalance of power between the bully and the victim.

"That's probably the hardest for law enforcement, parents and administrators to sort out," Maxwell said. "What if the victim has been annoying the kid that might be characterized as the bully and you have a kind of back-and-forth situation? I think that's more a feud or rivalry. In real bullying you have that repeated harassment and there's a real difference in the bully and victim."


IF YOU'RE BEING BULLIED

According to Maxwell, the best defense against cyberbullying is to actively protect your child's identity online, meaning that children and teens should take caution in who they give their e-mail address and phone number to, as well as what chat rooms or Web sites they visit.

He also recommends children keep an anonymous profile online. That means using a made-up username, not one that indicates a first or last name. Also, refrain from giving out personal information, like addresses and even what school they go to. If a cyberbully finds them anyway, a parent's first step is to make a record of the interaction and then head to the police.

"If you have a son or daughter and they really are being harassed, do a 'print screen' and save it as evidence of what's going on. Then talk to one of the authorities if there are serious threats, threats that imply that someone's going to get hurt. ... If it's more a school-related issue, talk to the principal or guidance counselor."

A "print screen" is a simple way to take a digital snapshot of an e-mail, instant message or message board posting that appears on your computer screen. Simply find the key on your computer's keyboard that says "Print Screen" or "PrtSc" and hit it once. It will take a snapshot of your current computer screen. Then paste it somewhere.

Lastly, Maxwell advises that parents do not approach the bully's parents about their children's online behavior. Most likely, your complaint will fall on deaf ears and may cause even more problems for the victim.

"The fact that a lot of times children are bullied at home means that their father or significant male gets what he wants through intimidation and is teaching this strategy to his child in an indirect way.

"If you go to someone like that and confront them about something their child has done wrong, you're likely to get bullied yourself and the interaction may not go well."

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Sue Scheff: Free Speech or Lack of Parenting?


I was contacted by CNN News in regards to this recent story.


As a parent advocate, I am proactive in helping parents protect their children in Cyberspace - whether it is monitoring their MySpace account - or using other protective measures such as Reputation Defender/MyChild to monitor your child’s privacy - but this story completely shocked me.

How can a parent condone a 13 year old writing about a principal in sexual ways? Where is this coming from? The parent is claiming their son has “free speech” - and they are correct about that, but when your 8th grader is calling someone a rapist or child molester without any substantiated evidence, in my opinion, this could be considered defamation - and as my beliefs continues - “Free Speech does not condone defamation.” Furthermore - the writings of “giving students anal” or “jacking off in my office” - is absolutely disgusting that a 13 year old writes this way. This is my personal opinion.

Read Below:

FEBRUARY 21–The parents of an Ohio boy who was expelled this month for creating a phony MySpace profile that described his middle school’s principal as a child molester have filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the 13-year-old’s free speech rights have been violated by education officials. Toader and Marianna Osan claim that their son (who is identified only by his initials in U.S. District Court filings) was improperly booted from the eighth grade at Hillside Middle School in Parma after educators learned of the boy’s creation of a MySpace page for principal Jeff Cook. The MySpace profile, which was headlined “Your Princeypal,” did not carry Cook’s name, but it included his photo and identified him as the Hillside Middle School principal. The since-removed profile, an excerpt of which you’ll find below, listed Cook’s general interests as “giving students anal” and “jacking off in my office,” and named his heroes as Michael Jackson, Adolph Hitler, and Saddam Hussein. For his vulgar online handiwork, “M.O.” was first suspended, and then, on February 7, was informed that he was being expelled (for “malicious harassment”) until June 10, effectively the end of the school year, according to a February 20th court filing. His parents argue that students “disrespecting teachers outside of school is an age-old tradition, and one from which teachers neither need nor deserve protection…It would be naive to think that even the most popular principal is not the subject of student ridicule and parody.” The Osans are seeking their son’s immediate return to school and a judicial order protecting his off-campus speech, which previously included the observation that Cook had an affinity for the Purple Penetrator, a sex toy.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Sue Scheff: Cyberbullying is becoming a serious concern among teens


More and more news articles, media and others are finally taking Cyberbullying seriously. As both a victim and survivor of being abused in Cyberspace - I know first hand how important this subject is.


Kids today need to be aware of what lingers online as well as take precautions not to feed into Cyberbullys and their tactics of invading a child's privacy.


As a parent, you can take steps to protect your kids online. Know what they are doing and where they are going in Cyberspace. It is almost as important as knowing where they are going when they leave your house! Take Cyberspace seriously!


A recent news article by the Associated Press is one of many that are bringing this awareness to parents.


I always encourage parents to consider Reputation Defender MyChild to help protect your children online, especially in the social networking sites such as MySpace and others.